Offering introductions without putting your graduate on the spot

Check relevance before mentioning anyone’s name

An introduction can provide useful information, but it can also create an obligation the graduate never chose. Start by asking what they want to learn and whether an introduction would help. Knowing a senior person is not, by itself, a reason to connect them. Someone familiar with everyday work may be more useful than someone with an impressive title.

Ask your graduate which function, kind of organization, or task they want to understand. Explain the limits of your connection honestly. “We worked together several years ago” is different from “I know their current hiring needs.” Do not imply access to a vacancy or an interview you cannot promise.

Get two separate permissions

First, ask the graduate whether they want this particular introduction. Tell them who the person is, why you think the connection is relevant, and what you propose to share. Let them edit that description. A résumé, personal circumstances, or details of an unsuccessful search should never be forwarded just because you have them.

Then ask the contact whether they are open to a brief learning conversation. Do not copy the graduate into that initial request without agreement. Both people should be able to decline without explaining themselves. If either person says no, let the matter end rather than looking for another channel to reach them.

An editable request to your contact

Editable fictional example—not a message that this website sends:

“Hi Alex, my graduate Morgan is exploring customer-success and operations work and would like to understand the tasks involved. Would you be open to a short information conversation about your experience? There is no request for a job or referral. Morgan has agreed that I can ask. No problem at all if your schedule does not allow it.”

Adapt the wording to what is true. Do not describe Morgan as an expert based on a single project or mention qualifications you have not checked. If the contact offers a different person, go back to the graduate before making a new introduction. Permission does not automatically transfer to a different audience.

An editable introduction after both agree

Editable fictional example:

“Alex, thank you for being open to talking. Morgan, meet Alex, whose experience includes helping customers get started with a service. Morgan is comparing customer-success and operations roles and has been exploring how a sociology project involving interviews and organized records could be relevant. I’ll leave you both to arrange a time if you wish.”

Keep the introduction short. Include only the details the graduate approved, and do not attach a résumé unless requested and authorized. Once the introduction is made, step back. The graduate chooses when to reply, what to ask, and whether the conversation still feels useful. You do not need to remain copied into scheduling or ask the contact for a progress report.

Keep learning separate from asking for a referral

An information conversation is an opportunity to understand work: common tasks, frustrations, skills, and ways to build credible evidence. A referral asks someone to support an application or put their reputation behind a candidate. Agreement to the first is not agreement to the second.

If a vacancy comes up, the graduate can ask what the appropriate application process is. The contact can decide whether to offer further help. Neither a family connection nor a pleasant conversation creates an entitlement to an interview. Avoid reporting the introduction to other relatives as though a job is already likely.

Agree what happens afterward

Before sending anything, ask whether the graduate wants a check-in afterward. They may prefer simply to say that the conversation happened, or not to discuss it with you at all. A thank-you and any follow-up belong to them; offer to review wording only if invited.

If there is no reply, resist taking over. The graduate can decide whether a polite follow-up is worthwhile. The weekly support agreement can record your limited role: offer one opt-in introduction, then leave communication to the graduate. A useful result might be clearer questions or deciding a role is not right—not a referral, interview, or offer.